10 horrible reasons to be terrified about Australia
Australia is big, bold, beautiful and absolutely terrifying. You need to have nerves of steel and keep your wits about you if you want to survive Down Under. Here’s why:
1: Australia has spiders the size of your bloody hand!
2: We have politicians in big hats, that smile even though they’re cranky
3: Extremely aggressive drop bears are always hunting for human prey
*Tips for deterring drop bear attacks – Do one or more of the following: placing forks in the hair, spread Vegemite behind the ears, urinating on oneself, only speaking English in an Australian accent.
4: Deep down, we all have at least a little bit of this in us
5: Stuff can be stupidly expensive
6: Our snow is freaking HUGE
7: These sun bake in the backyard…
8: …and then eat crocodiles for lunch…
9: …and after, they leave their dirty clothes all over the house