The New Year is upon us and as time is ticking by, here are funny tweets about New Year resolutions we can all relate to.
Usually, nobody can stick out their New year’s resolutions because people are very ambitious when it comes to changing their lives, and, well, January mostly sucks. January is usually a depressing time with the realisation that Christmas is over and real-life comes knocking on your door. Soon after going to the gym five days a week becomes a fantasy….once again.
These tweets show how people really feel about New Year’s resolutions:
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word “stop.”
— Pete Holmes (@peteholmes) January 1, 2014
January: NEW YEAR, NEW ME ????????????????♀️????????????????
March: ????????????????????????????????????
— Gabe #DreamActNow Ortíz (@TUSK81) January 1, 2017
I’d love to say ‘New Year. New Me.’ but I’m only 2 stamps away from a free meal with my KFC loyalty card. Would be silly to ruin that now…
— Simon Lennon (@SiLennon) January 1, 2017
Already broke my New Years resolution to not cry in a Taco Bell bathroom
— Bucky “ask me about updog” Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) January 1, 2017
im not really a new years resolution person, im more of a “get really motivated to change my whole life at 3 AM on a tuesday” person
— Liza (@LizaWagner) January 2, 2017
my new years resolution is to figure out how to squeeze a 4th and 5th meal into my day
— jacob whitesides (@JacobWhitesides) January 1, 2017
My New Years resolution for 2016 was to not have a resolution so I wouldn’t disappoint myself…. still disappointed myself
— Mia Stammer ✨ (@MamaMiaMakeup) December 26, 2016
My 2017 resolution is to work on my low self esteem, but I don’t think I can do it.
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) December 21, 2016
New Years resolution: try to worry less, fill that time with oh god what am I supposed to fill that time with this is already going terribly
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) December 30, 2015
Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret
— Siddharth Singh (@siddharth3) December 27, 2016
My new year’s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) January 1, 2017
My New Year’s resolution is simply to remember to write 2017 instead of 2016.
— Petra Hitchens (@Fleimkepa) January 1, 2017