Categories: Lifestyle

Margaret Court in the act: The tennis racket is full of lesbians!

Margaret Court is right, tennis is full of lesbians and she should know.

And that’s not the half of it. The hairy gits are everywhere.

Even journalism is full of lesbians. Police forces are full of lesbians. The military is full of lesbians.

Nunnerys are full of lesbians. Islamic State is full of lesbians. After all, Freud said all women were castrated men. He should know. He was a lesbian.

God’s a lesbian. Jesus too. And why do you think the Ghost was Holy? Yep, a lesbian trifecta.

The AFL is dead set full of lezzos. Crikey, they’ve even got more of them than the AFLW!

Soccer is full of them, just check out the ink.

All rugby codes are full of lesbians; catch the squirrel grip, dead set giveaway.

Everyone sucks up to them.

Domino’s makes a special family-size Lezzo Pizza. Number 69.

Roller derby is full of lesbians. Hockey is full of lesbians; the game not Joe. The medical profession is full of lesbians.

Lesbos, the island founded by lesbians is still inhabited by them and all the refugees there are lesbians too.

I won’t hear a word against the godly Pastor Margaret Court. Gawd luv ‘er.

Why not? It’s obvious. Look around you, people. In Myer, at the tram stop, in the milk bar, at the dentist, what do you see? Exactly! All chokkers full of lesbians.

The Coalition is full of lesbians. And those that aren’t are closet lesbians, that’s for sure.

One Nation is full of lesbians, named for the one true sect.

The Labor Party is full of wannabe lesbians, but they’re in with a chance.

The Reverend Dr Court, founder of Margaret Court Industries Inc, is also quite right to boycott Qantas for its corporate stance on same sex marriage. After all, girlcott sounds a bit silly even if it is closer to the mark. No wonder it’s nicknamed Qantarse.

(Image via sbs.com.au)

As well as writing letters to editors, she’s thankfully outed the Devil’s role in all of this — and linked such lust to Hitler and Communism.

“That’s what Hitler did. That’s what Communism did,” Court said, “get in the minds of the children. There’s a whole plot in our nation and in the nations of the world to get in the minds of the children.”

Put on some non-lesbian organ music if you can find some, make a cuppa and listen to this beaut, penetrating and insightful radio interview on Vision Christian Radio with Maggie that really gives us an insight into the tennis great’s humanity and compassion:

LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST HERE.

The 62 Grand Slam, thank you ma’am, heads up the Victory Life Centre and I was pleased to see good old Luke helping her out with a bit of fundraising advice to us all, tithes and offerings to you:

‘Give and shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken togehter and running over, will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.’ (Luke 6:38)

Never mind the typo, heavens above, even the President of the United States does those. It shows we’re human. I do them a lot, just so I can appear extra human.

(Actually, I can now reveal that “covfefe” spells “lesbian” sideways.)

By the way, funny that Luke should mention bosoms, but — given that he didn’t much like women, even though he was a lesbian himself. As were all the Apostles, including that Mary Magdalene who tried to disguise it by going around washing mens’ feet and drying them with her hair. Anyhow, off topic.

Billy Hughes was a lesbian. Sir Robert Menzies was a very tall lesbian and started the unplucked feral eyebrows craze emulated by the likes of Cara Delevingne.

Cara, treads, feline and giveaway feral eyebrows

The Mountbattens, Lord and Lady, were both lesbians.

Captain Cook was a seafaring lesbian. Burke and Wills were landlocked lesbians.

Cleopatra, Julius Caesar and Markus Antonius were all lesbians and so was that Walt Disney of Elizabethan times, William Shakespeare.

Did you know that all roses are lesbians? Didn’t think so. The plant world is full of them.

All jockeys are too, I bet you didn’t realise that either.

The trucking industry is full of lesbians. Maternity wards are full of lesbians and they all give birth to lesbian bubs.

Cindarella was a lesbian. Snow White wasn’t quite as white as she pretended. She was a lesbian.

Elizabeth I was a lesbian and had two lesbian spaniels called Sappho and Boy George.

Sappho was named for the lesbian poet, but how’s this, she was also a tennis player and this picture proves it:

Yes, you’ve spotted it – what is Sappho holding in her left hand in this lovely picture in the Manchester Art Gallery by artist Charles Auguste Mengin – why, an early version of the tennis raquet, no less (Image Wikipedia Commons)

I haven’t decided whether I’m a lesbian lesbian or a lesbian lesbian lesbian. Or whether I’m gay, heterosexual, bisexual, trisexual, intersex, transgender, transatlanic or transgender, but they’re all versions of lesbianism anyway.

The world is full of them.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Australia License

Originally featured on IndependentAustralia.net

TOP IMAGE: Paran Haneul / Pixabay

Tess Lawrence

Tess Lawrence is a broadcaster, journalist advocate and specialist in ethical media services and crisis management and consultant in media strategy, contentious multi-cultural, interfaith, human rights and issues of injustice. She has taught at a number of institutions, including Deakin University in Ethics and New Reporting and is a forensic researcher and analyst (communications) and implemented, underwrote and directed the campaign seeking sanctuary for the surviving Iraqi soldiers responsible for the rescue of Australian hostage Douglas Wood. Tess Lawrence was the first female feature writer 'allowed' to sit in the previously all male newsroom at the Melbourne Herald. She has the distinction of travelling around Saudi Arabia sans a male chaperone and sought sanctuary in ' the empty quarter ' in the company of the bedu who protected her from regime spies as she spent time in the desert after the first Gulf War. She was nonetheless arrested three times by the religious police. She remains a defiant ' adulte terrible ' and is a passionate advocate of citizen journalism and believes it to be an authentic voice of the journalist as witness. She is in awe of the young hearts and minds of the pan Arabist children of the revolution. She is about to launch a campaign for journalist Julian Assange to be the next Dr Who. She is addicted to English Mars bars and loves her Aunty Audrey to bits. Although a lapsed Catholic, she still lights candles in memory of her beloved Boxer dogs Bunyip and Gumnut. She is besotted with Australian marsupials and unashamedly incorporates words such as ' cobber ' and ' drongo ' in her political reports and analyses.

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Tess Lawrence
Tags: gay and lesbian (LGBT)politicsTennis
6 July 2017 10:25 AM